waste of time ?part I

I always say that nothing matters or "does it matter?" Now I realised that everything matters. Every fucking drop of rain, every ray of sunlight, every wisp of cloud matters. And they matter because I can see them and if I can see them, then they can see me and I know that there's an entire world that cares out there, hiding behind a world that doesn't, afraid to show who it really is and with or without you, I will drag that world out of the dirt and the blood and the muck until we live in it. Until we all live in it. My point is, there are a lot of people in the world. No one ever sees everything the same way you do; it just doesn't happen. So when you find one person who gets a couple of things, especially if they're important ones, you might as well hold on to them. You know? Maybe that’s just growing up. When you’re young, you tell yourself things like "Well, if it didn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be" as if that actually meant something, just because it sounds like it does. But people are rare perfect unique things, and just because everyone really does live a life full of farewells doesn’t mean you shouldn’t at least realize what it really means to say goodbye to something that meant everything. Just because you will survive and get over it doesn’t mean you should let it go.

What they say is, life goes on and that is mostly true. The mail is delivered and the Christmas lights go up and down from the houses and the ladders get put away and you open yet another box of cereal. In time, the volume of my feelings would be turned down in gentle increments to near quiet, and yet the record would still spin, always spin.