*It's been quite awhile. I must say i miss out friendship.I miss you,but what i really miss the most is not just you or us ,but how it was .
1.I think what i need more than anything else in the world is to be told ( just once ) that a friend doesn't
know what they would do without me .
2.You keep teeling me to get my like together . You're the one that made it fall apart .
3.Why do we are like 2 strangers ? When i know you remember every moment we spent together .
4.At times like this , i wish i could read your mind . At least then i'll know if i'm just wasting my time.
5.Holding on to something that used to be there hoping it will come back .
6.Missing you isn't the problem, it's wondering if you'll ever come back that's killing me.
I guess it hurts so much when they're gone because you spent every waking moment with them.And it's almost as if you forget how to live without them.
sadness
there's comes a point in every relationship where the damage is too much and no matter how good it was once , the memories can't sustain you . you have to 'save ' yourself, knowing all the while that it will hurt like hell . Just because you can't keep giving someone everything if you get nothing in return .
i know, it's hard to be apart from the person you care about .
It always takes two. For relationships to work, for them to break apart, for them to be fixed. i tried . have you ? no. 'cause now you're the one that moved on .
i know, it's hard to be apart from the person you care about .
It always takes two. For relationships to work, for them to break apart, for them to be fixed. i tried . have you ? no. 'cause now you're the one that moved on .
.
I don't know if you've ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think that wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That's why I'm trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.
turn our eyes away ..
Se pare ca nu pot trai intr-o lume in care tu nu existi .
M-am intrebat cat poate sa dureze situatia asta. poate intr-o zi, poate peste ani - daca durerea s-ar diminua si ar deveni suportabila –as putea sa ma uit in urma la acele luni care vor ramane mereu cele mai bune din viata mea . Si, daca ar fi posibil ca durerea sa se inmoaie in asa fel incat sa-mi permita lucrul acesta, sunt sigura ca as fi recunoscatoare pentru timpul pe care mi l-a acordat . mai mult decat cerusem , mai mult de meritam . poate intr-o zi voi putea vedea lucrurile in felul acesta .
Dar daca gaura asta din sufletul meu nu se mai vindeca niciodata ? daca marginile sangerande nu se mai vindeca ? daca raul e permanent ?
Ce rost mai are sa inaintez ? n-a mai ramas nimic aici . Nimic in afara de amintirile pe care le pot invoca de cate ori vreau , daca sunt dispusa sa indur suferinta care le insoteste . Si durerea imi cuprinde intreaga fiinta. Toate locurile nu mai au nimic deosebit in absenta lui .nu sunt prea sigura de ce speram sa simt aici, dar locul era pustiu , pustiu de tot .. ca toate locurile din jur . Exact cum sunt si cosmarurile mele.
Simt ca am pierdut adevarata dragoste pt totdeauna. “Printul” nu se mai intoarce sa “ma trezeasca” cu un sarut din somnul meu vrajit . Iar la urma urmei , eu nu sunt o printesa . Deci care este scenariul pentru celelalte saruturi ?
Poate ca va fi usor – cum era cand il tineam de mana sau cand ma imbratisa. Poate ca o sa ma simt bine . Poate nu o sa ma simt ca o tradatoare . Si oricum , pe cine am tradat ? doar pe mine insami .
E greu de descris. As deveni ceea ce e nevoie sa devin – amanta, prietena ..
Asa cum eu iti apartin tie pentru totdeauna, tot astfel imi vei apartine si tu mie pentru totdeauna . [ cel putin in mintea mea ]
Do we spend most of our days trying to remember or to forget?
atatea intrebari la care nu am raspuns ..
de ce mi-am facut asta cu mana mea?
de ce nu vrei sa ma ierti ?
de ce eu te-as putea ierta pt absolut orice chestie?
o sa-ti dai seama vreodata ca , poate .. nu m-ai 'pretuit' destul ?
sau ca eu am fost mai buna decat alta?
o sa zici vreodata " am avut-o si n-am crezut niciodata ca ma iubeste? si acum am pierdut-o?"
nu o sa zici asta . pt ca stii ca o sa ma ai inapoi oricand o sa te indemne ceva inapoi spre mine.
ti-e dor de mine?
te gandesti la mine?
o sa te vad in viitoru apropiat?
o sa ma mai strangi in brate candva ?
even if you're with another girl ..
i still love you. i don't know how to forget you and i don't want that.
i want to love until i grow old and if i will be asked " do you still love your first true love?"
i could answer proudly "yes ,and i will love him until the end of my days". it sounds tragic, dramatic - it sound stupid maybe. but that's the truth : i love you and i will never forget you.
now you are with another girl ..it's my fault . if i would've listen to you and in the first place i wouldn't have lied you, you'd have been ma boy .
for me.. you're still my love, my little love .. you're still the reason of my happiness . even if you don't believe me when i tell you something.
Wednesday it's your bday .. you'll have 23 . i' m truly sorry that i'm not there, next to you .. i miss you being happy with me . i miss you being right next to me . i miss waking up and thinking "oww shit, i look like hell and i'm with him.how can i hide my 'morning - freaking-face ' ?"
i know again and again : words don't matter ; actions do. i don't blame you for not believing me .
at least , i'm relieved that you won't read this . you have no interest on reading my 'blog' that's now turned in a kind of diary .
it helps me writing down this bullshit.
50 % of me hopes that you're happy with your girlfriend , 50% of me hopes that you miss me and you wonder stuff about me .
i know, it's childish and i am stupid.
P.S. : i can't stop myself remembering 'you' that : i love you .
i want to love until i grow old and if i will be asked " do you still love your first true love?"
i could answer proudly "yes ,and i will love him until the end of my days". it sounds tragic, dramatic - it sound stupid maybe. but that's the truth : i love you and i will never forget you.
now you are with another girl ..it's my fault . if i would've listen to you and in the first place i wouldn't have lied you, you'd have been ma boy .
for me.. you're still my love, my little love .. you're still the reason of my happiness . even if you don't believe me when i tell you something.
Wednesday it's your bday .. you'll have 23 . i' m truly sorry that i'm not there, next to you .. i miss you being happy with me . i miss you being right next to me . i miss waking up and thinking "oww shit, i look like hell and i'm with him.how can i hide my 'morning - freaking-face ' ?"
i know again and again : words don't matter ; actions do. i don't blame you for not believing me .
at least , i'm relieved that you won't read this . you have no interest on reading my 'blog' that's now turned in a kind of diary .
it helps me writing down this bullshit.
50 % of me hopes that you're happy with your girlfriend , 50% of me hopes that you miss me and you wonder stuff about me .
i know, it's childish and i am stupid.
P.S. : i can't stop myself remembering 'you' that : i love you .
fav lyrics
I can't sleep at night
Staring at the phone
Knowing you are not alone
She is right there by your side
I'm trying just to hide
All the things I feel inside
I can sense the chemistry
When you are standing close to me
I feel like a ship that's lost at sea
It's getting harder to ignore
It's not like anything before
I know it's crazy baby but I want more
I wish I could be close to you
And feel your every move
Never meant to feel this way
Maybe you would come around one day
Staring at the phone
Knowing you are not alone
She is right there by your side
I'm trying just to hide
All the things I feel inside
I can sense the chemistry
When you are standing close to me
I feel like a ship that's lost at sea
It's getting harder to ignore
It's not like anything before
I know it's crazy baby but I want more
I wish I could be close to you
And feel your every move
Never meant to feel this way
Maybe you would come around one day
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